Why do you feel like you need to lose weight?
Why is this important to you?
Do you have an event or competition looming? Or do you simply want to fit into your favourite pair of jeans and feel more confident in your physical appearance?
For most of our clients, their ‘why’ would be something similar to the latter.
So we’ve made some progress:
“I want to lose weight” has become “I want to lose weight because I want to fit into my favourite jeans which will help me feel more confident in my physical appearance”.
We now have an emotional reason attached to the goal of losing weight (which is very important) which will increase your motivation and chances of success.
Could we get even more specific though? We certainly can, by asking two more exploration questions:
How would you feel if you reached that goal?
Why would you feel that way?
This can be a difficult conversation to have with someone else or even yourself, but if you’re truly going to become emotionally attached to attaining your goal, it’s vital to have it.
I, for example, have had clients start by telling me they want to lose weight. But by asking why and digging deeper, the real story eventually emerges…
I want to lose weight so I can get back into the dress I wore on my honeymoon. My husband always loved me in that dress and would comment whenever I wore it.
Truth be told I’ve felt like since I’ve gained weight I’ve felt tired and less attractive to him. I know it isn’t true, or I’d like to believe it isn’t, but I still know if I can train, and eat well, and fit back into that pretty dress… I just know the look on his face will make me feel like we’re on our honeymoon again.
And more than that, I’ll feel like me again. It’s not about impressing him, even though I want him to look at me like he used to. I want to do this because I’m tired of feeling ashamed of my appearance. I want my confidence back to speak up at work, and I know if I can tackle this fat loss target, that I can get that back.
Infinitely more powerful and motivating than simply, “I want to lose weight”, right?
I fully appreciate this goal is unique to this person and may be very different to your own, but you can use it as an example of the depth to go into when exploring your own goal.
There’s a lot of emotion behind why she’s making the effort to improve her physical appearance by beginning an exercise programme and changing her eating habits.
That emotional reason may have always been at the back of her mind, but if she hadn’t vocalised and accepted her underlying emotional targets, she may have just accepted she “just wanted to lose weight” and would have never really registered the importance of this goal.
Do you think she’ll be able to find the motivation to climb out of bed on a rainy and cold morning to get to her training session? Or will she be able to find the motivation to prepare her lunches ahead of time to avoid unhealthy snacking?
People act based on emotion. Use that emotional driving power to self-motivate and inspire yourself, instead of telling yourself it’s too hard, or you ‘don’t really want it badly enough’.